deepStream community of faith

High and Holy

2009-12-08T16:57:00.005-05:00

We just returned to Guatemala from a 2 week trip to the US. It was great to see friends and family and to be together with our stateside church community. We shared a lot of laughs, tears, and fun together.

This was my first time back in a year and a half. I learned that this is a long enough time to forget things, and to change perspective. Long enough to be caught off-guard by even the simple things that, until being away for a while, I may have never given much thought.

One of the main things I can’t stop thinking about is the American mind-sight towards celebrity, sports, news, and Hollywood. For 2 weeks I heard about Tiger Woods, Tim Tebow, Preisdent Obama, college football, and the economy. You cant go anywhere without the latest issues reaching out to strangle you for your attention.

Tiger: the stable, solid, classy professional golfer who maintains an impeccable reputation… let us down. News broke that he has been unfaithful to his wife, which was followed by many other reports of multiple mistresses.

Obama: the president who was going to save us all from the mess left by the Bush administration… letting us down. His approval rating currently lower than any president (at this point in their term) in history.

Tebow: the outspoken Christian quarterback, looking to lead his dominant Gators to another championship… let us down. After a poor performance in the SEC championship game, he sobbed as if the world was coming to an end.

The economy. Politics. College football. Artists, entertainers, and cable news.

Around and around we go. I myself engaged in a 2 hour conversation (argument) about college football that left some of us involved upset with each other! I know… boys will boys and its just innocent fun. But is it? What’s the point? By getting so fired up about it, aren’t I implying that it’s pretty serious stuff? When really, is it important at all?

This time next year, much less 5 years from now, all of these stories will be forgotten and we’ll have new ones to suck us in. We’re literally obsessed with the stuff. Fox News is giving me a headache. Even ESPN, which I occasionally love to veg out to, is beginning to sound like nails across a chalkboard. Why?

My friend Derek recently wrote and recorded a song called High and Holy. I think the title of his song explains why the things of this world (should) lose their flavor.

When our hearts become captivated by our high and holy God, something changes. Our perspective shifts, and the things that excite us (or let us down) are no longer the things – or people – of the world.

The last 2 weeks are a blur and we were running at a crazy pace. But now, sitting here reflecting, I can honestly say that football statistics seemed more important to me than statistics that really matter - like homelessness, hunger, clean water, etc. And I found myself being more intrigued by how celebrities were living than by how Jesus lived.

I can see now how quickly and easily I was swept up into the madness. And even though I was recognizing parts of it along the way, the pace of life made it difficult to find time to come before God and pray, seek, be refreshed and straightened out.

The latest “Tiger Woods Scandal” was dominating the headlines. As much as I entertained conversations and discussed the topic, it is hitting me now how truly amazing it is that we are so fascinated by the fact that Woods was unfaithful to his wife. Statistically 60% of all married men cheat. In the context of celebrity, I bet that number goes to 90% or more.

What is the big shock? Based on those numbers, you would think the headlines would read “Surprise, Surprise… Another One Down.” I think the reason its such a big story – the reason we get so hurt, excited, whatever – is because our hope is in people as opposed to in Christ. I actually think Christians are the worst. Mel Gibson, George W. Bush, Tiger… these are all people that Christians have placed so highly on a pedestal, only to be “stunned” when they let us down.

The reality is that humans will always let us down. We sin, we fail, we screw up… that is what makes us human. It’s unfortunate that the Christian community often forgets to come together in these times to encourage, support, and lift up the fallen – even if it can only be done by prayer. Instead, we run to the tabloids, soak it in, criticize, defend, and of course…gossip.

Jesus was – and will always be – perfect. He is high and he is holy. He will never let us down, he will never slip up and make that fatal mistake. We’ll never see him on the front page of the newspaper, crying or defending himself. We’ll never read a statement from him regretting his actions and apologizing for the hurt he has caused his friends, family, and fans.

The promises of God will continue to always be kept. There is comfort in that. But there is also responsibility. I saw in the last couple of weeks how easily I can slide back into the mix… the firestorm of media, politics, and the pursuit of success. It is a machine that churns away, steadily churning and crushing souls at an uncontrollable pace.

I pray for my loved ones serving Christ in the US. Avoid the nonsense. Be a voice of truth in the midst of constant distraction. Stay close to the spirit of Jesus, so that your senses remain sharp and you can recognize immediately when even the subtle attempts of the world are drawing you in.

Remember that your God is high and he is holy. He is unchanging. He is not going anywhere. And he is the ONLY one who will never let you down.

You are high and holy.
you alone are worthy of our praise.
Enthroned in glory,
boldly we approach you as our king.

-song by DH

the sin of stress

2009-11-01T17:02:00.007-05:00

A familiar passage from Philipians has been a big help for me lately. It is a well-known passage, but at least for me it is too easily "recited" without appreciating the depth of it. Maybe that's because until I am presented with a unique challenge, I am able to avoid the difficulty of what it says.

It says to rejoice in the Lord always. To let gentleness be evident to all. To not be anxious about anything, and to let the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, guard your hearts and your minds.

Some recent difficult circumstances have made it a challenge to "rejoice always", and to be free from anxiety. But the truth of God's Word has made it clear to me - has reminded me in a perfect and beautiful way - that it is my own issues, my sin, and my pride, that keep me from rejoicing. It is my sin that weighs me down with anxiety.

If I am fully honest with myself, shouldn't I be willing to admit that "stress" is a cop-out term that is used in order to describe anxiety and lack of ability to rejoice? It is so easily accepted and understandable to be "stresses out." But is it really just a justification to be living in sin?

I'm not saying being tired, worn down, or exhausted is sinful. But if our "stress level" has us in a state of anxiety that keeps us from rejoicing always, why is it that we don't recognize this is a problem - a big problem? After all, sin is sin.

It's no wonder that the passage goes on to say "let the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, guard your hearts and minds." For me, that hits home. Because when I am in a funk, my mind can cook up all kinds of negativity. I am quick to be frustrated, quick to anger, and quick to rude sarcasm when I my anxiety level is high.

I am praising God right now, thankful for his word of truth, and for waking me up to see my filth. I am his... made for eternal glory... for so much more than this world can throw my way. With that in mind, who am I to be anxious? Who am I to be stressed out because of my difficult circumstances? Maybe I take myself a little too seriously. Maybe I temporarily forget sometimes that my Father is the King. That he is on the throne. And that my life is just a vapor.

Life can be hard and I'm sure I will face my share of difficult circumstances on the road ahead. But I pray today that when those times come I will be quickly reminded that I am a son of the Most High King. That He is fully capable - in any and all circumstances - to give me a peace and joy beyond comprehension.

I need to be reminded that when I chose to take up my cross and follow Jesus, I agreed to submit my life to his glory... and to rejoice in Him ALWAYS!!

what Esbin is teaching me

2009-09-26T17:02:00.003-04:00

Just about everyone who has visited us or been on a mission trip to Guatemala has met Esbin. He’s the 10 year old disabled kid that 6 months ago could barely move. He is undiagnosed, and has been bedridden for the last 3 years. Today Guicho and I spent the day with Esbin, and his sister Mildred, in Guatemala City visiting doctors.

The Doctor

Guicho’s dad is a friend with the most well known brain surgeon in Guatemala, who made time to examine Esbin this morning. He asked detailed questions about Esbin’s history, then he did a complete physical exam.

Unconvinced, he called a friend who is a neurologist, who immediately came over and examined Esbin as well. I was shocked at how much love and concern these two men (clearly among the top in their field) seemed to have for Esbin. Together with the neurologist, we talked through what they believe to be their diagnosis and how we could best attempt to rehabilitate. But before any diagnosis could be official, we would have to have several tests done.

So the Doc called another specialist and requested an exam. The specialist said he could take us next week, and the Doc explained our situation and pleaded to see us immediately. They obliged, and scheduled us for later the same day. When we left his office to head to the next appointment, he refused payment, saying “I am so thankful for the way you are helping my people and the children in Guatemala. We are going to get Esbin well, and you will never receive a bill from me.”

During the next appointment, Esbin had all of his nerves tested for response time. Little needles stuck throughout his body while getting zapped with an electric charge. He cried and yelled for his mom. This was difficult for all of us. When we were leaving, the receptionist said “normally this tests cost Q3,000, but the doctor called and said to only charge you half - that he was paying for the other half.”

The Day

In between appointments we had lunch at Pollo Campero, a famous fast food chicken place in Guatemala. (We asked the kids earlier if they could eat anywhere in the world where would it be.) So today became their first time in a car, in a mall, and to Pollo Campero. Needless to say they were overwhelmed as they looked around at everything. It was sweet though…especially as Mildred (13 yrs) stood in amazement as the people came up and down the “moving stairs.” She would touch the top step with her foot and quickly pull it back, wondering how it disappeared. Finally, Guicho took her for an up and down just for fun…

We still have some blood tests to do next week, then we’ll return to the main doctor for a complete diagnosis. From there we’ll form a rehabilitation plan likely to include dental work, nutrition, and therapy. (The neurologist said Esbin’s teeth are so bad that it would be impossible to begin a nutrition plan until he has major work done.)

From what Guicho and I gathered during all of the meetings, Esbin has something similar to Gilliam Barre Syndrome. Basically after getting sick, the immune system attacks the nervous system and begins a process of attrition to the entire body. While this is a disease that is normally able to be rehabilitated back to health, what sets Esbin’s case apart is the 3 years of living in a vegetative state following the onset of the problem.

The Difficulty

What I have wrestled with is the whole 3 years of nothing stage. I watch Esbin’s mom, his sister, and family. They seem like good, honest people. They obviously love him dearly. Initially I was frustrated with them and partially blamed them for not doing anything. How could they just let this kid lie in bed, wasting away into nothing for 3 years!

But over the last year I have gotten to know them, their community, their culture, and their lifestyle. Sadly, until someone else intervened with suggestions and offers to help, this is what happens in extreme poverty. Esbin’s family cannot afford to eat every day, much less pay for bus fares, doctor’s appointments or medicines. They lack the education & sophistication to read – much less figure out how to call and make appointments, study symptoms or diagnose a condition. Mom and dad have to be gone all day just to try to provide enough for the family to eat, which makes it impossible for a physical therapy program, special diet, or any type of regular exercise.

The reality is, Esbin’s parents didn’t have any idea what was happening with their son. And if that’s not sad enough, they didn’t have any way to try to figure it out or try to help him. They didn’t know where to start. All they know each day is the challenge that is before them: work long days in hopes to eat that day, figure out how to carry Esbin back and forth to the bathroom, try to maintain a home and a family, and do it all over again the next day.

So I continue to wrestle. Why do I have so much? I always say I know the answer… “God blesses some so that they can help others.” But then I wonder why did he bless me to help them, and not them to help me? Why for me is eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner a given? Not even a thought? When for them one meal a day is a prayer and a hope? Why do I get the liberties of all-you-can-eat 24 hrs a day, warm home and bed, car, computer, tv, restaurants, desserts, travel, and entertainment… while families like Esbin’s suffer and just long to get through another day?

I don’t know. (And please don’t email me any textbook theological answers!) One thing I do believe is that God wants me in this place. He wants me to wrestle, to ask the questions, to cry and to hurt. I believe he wants me to feel the guilt – along with the joy – that comes as I seek about these things.

The longer I live as a Christian, the more I learn that there are no simple answers to many questions of the faith. There is only a journey. A journey that requires our willingness to jump in blind, letting go of everything we thought we knew, and just take a walk with Jesus.

dSg update - sep 19, 2009

2009-09-19T23:36:00.002-04:00

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ruben and my trash

2009-06-30T18:19:00.003-04:00

Not including the neighborhood kids asking for our kids to come out and play, we average about 10 to 15 knocks on our door a day. Most of them are locals who have heard about the home building ministry and want us to consider them for a new home. Others ask for food, shoes, clothes, or other things. Many of these are friends – people we know – and others we are meeting for the first time.

But a couple days ago we had a different knock. At first glance it seemed normal enough… a group of young kids either asking for something or wanting to see if Jake could come out and play.

“We were wanting to know if we could have your trash,” said Ruben, a kid that I had chatted with several times out in the streets. I remembered it was trash day, so my guess was that this kid was asking to take out our trash and fishing for small tip.

“Are you wanting to take out our trash and earn a little money?”, I asked him. He looked at his friends and smiled, as if that sounded great…but I could tell that’s not what he meant. He said, “actually we were wanting to go through your trash and see if we could find some food.”

I looked into his eyes and I swear in that moment I saw my son Jake looking back at me. I thought of sending my kids out to ask for trash in hope that they could bring home some scraps of food. I saw my own girls walking around hungry, rummaging through the neighbors trash.

Then I thought of the days, perhaps weeks worth, of food that is sitting in our pantry. The amount of food that spoils because we don’t eat it in time. Those items in the back of the fridge that we forget about until cleaning it out every few weeks.

As I considered what to do, my flesh voiced it’s concern. “Our door cannot become a place to come and receive constant handouts… If all we are to the people is a Santa Clause of sorts, we will never develop true relationships… As soon as the word gets out that we hand out food and/or money, we’re going to get bombarded…”

Thankfully the penetrating truth of God’s word came through louder than the voice of my sinful body.

“Love your neighbor as yourself…” (Mark 12:30)

I am called to love Ruben as if he were my own son. To love him and care for him to the same degree that I love and care for myself. Honestly, that seems absurd. How am I supposed to do that? What does it look like?

Maybe God was trying to teach me what it looks like by making me see my own son when I saw Ruben.

Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. (James 2:15-17)

The Rainy Season

2009-05-22T00:12:00.004-04:00

“Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest… I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls.”

- Jesus

God is moving actively in the ministry of deepStream guatemala. He is all over the place, doing so many things at once. He is using his children (many of you) to provide for us. He is sending people to help us. He is opening doors of opportunity for new ministries. He is saving souls and changing lives – using our little ministry to make a difference.

Then why, if everything is going so well, does it have to be so hard?

In Guatemala, the rainy season began this month. For me, it has begun literally and metaphorically. In the last few weeks we have had people close to us die, personal attacks against our ministry, car problems, financial problems, sickness, hospital emergencies, and staff challenges. Some of it is easier to deal with than others. Each one isolated, I can usually handle without a problem. But when it all comes at once - when the rain pours – it’s difficult to stay the course.

Thankfully God has reminded me that trials have purpose. Sometimes He uses them to correct a sin or a bad pattern…so I begin seeking and asking. Other times He is permitting the enemy to attack, which brings a testing of my faith and perseverance. Or perhaps in all of his wisdom and mercy, God is using the storms to sharpen me… to refine my impurities in the fire.

I think God is teaching me that there are things I can’t see when the sun is shining. In order for me to see things more clearly, He has to bring the rain.

God’s word is teaching me in this area. Even Jesus in all of his perfection was taught obedience through his hardships (Heb 5:8-9). If the perfect Son of God had room to learn from his hardships, can you imagine how much more we should be learning through our own trials?! When the struggles – even catastrophes – come, why isn’t our immediate reaction to fall on our knees and ask: “what are you trying to teach me?”

Considering how ridiculously clear the bible is on this matter, it should (in theory) be easy for us to see that when we face challenges, God is working on us. Acts 14:22 says “you must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God.” Paul said we must persevere so that we become mature and complete.

Being refined is not easy. It’s like a painful peeling away of a layer, but the stripping process hurts. The bright side is that it’s a process designed to have a beautiful end result. We come out sharpened and strengthened.

In addition, living in a community surrounded by extreme poverty, I am constantly reminded of the scale of my suffering when I look at things “by comparison.” Thinking this way doesn’t always make things easier, but it certainly gives perspective on the gap between what I view as difficult versus the difficulties of so many others. I think it is healthy for all of us to do this at times.

In the end I am thankful that God allows me to suffer, experience pain, or endure persecution because it brings me back to Him. I finally break down and come that wonderful place of complete dependence. For this I am grateful to see that my recent rainy season of trials is actually just a gift of his mercy and love for me.

Claro

2009-05-11T23:05:00.001-04:00

Claro died today.

I have only known Claro for a few months, but I loved him. God connected us, which always builds a friendship bond at a faster pace than otherwise. We met after his nephew came to us and asked if we would come visit his home. He had heard our ministry built houses in the community, and said his uncle Claro was in great need.

He was right. Claro’s house was more like an old tool shed. Made of cornstalk, there were gaps everywhere, allowing space for the cold, rain, and wind to make life miserable. The inside was barely big enough for a twin-size makeshift bed, and a fire. The floors were dirt. His only belongings were a few dirty pieces of clothing, a some filthy dishes caked in soot, and a machete. He cooked over an open fire about 2 feet from his bed, giving him a constant inhale of smoke and dirt. No electricity, no water, no plumbing… his house was cold and dark.

But Claro was a joy. He smiled and talked. And talked, and talked... He told us how cold and dusty his house is, and how it always makes him sick. At 65 years old or so, he is difficult to understand (even for the locals), because he blurs and joins his words in a unique mutter. But he said “thank you God and thanks to you” no less than 20 times every time we talked.

When we finished his home, roughly the equivalent of a concrete block 2-car garage, he stood inside and cried. “Never in all my life did I think I would have a home like this.” That statement froze me. I wondered what kind of home I could envision myself standing in that would warrant the very same comment from me.

The house only has two small rooms. Instead of basking in the glory of his new space, he immediately moved his son, daughter in law, and granddaughter into the adjacent room.

2 weeks ago, with some friends that were visiting, we delivered Claro a new bed. When we moved out his old one, made of stiff hay, he said “don’t throw that away, I can sell that and make a little money!” We all laughed. He sat on his bed. We could tell he was amazed at how soft it was.

A few days later, some other friends had decided to bless Claro with a new chicken coup they had built. We went to his house to surprise him. After yelling for him and getting no answer, my friends waited at the street and I went up to see if he was home.

I peeked in the front door and saw Claro lying in his bed. He was on top of his blanket, which made me smile as I realized he wasn’t cold. I felt bad waking him up, so I stood there and just looked at him for while. He looked comfortable.

I called out his name and he popped up…said he was just taking a quick nap. We gave him the chicken coup. He was very grateful. He told us he could manage the baby chicks without a problem, and he was excited about the new micro business opportunity.

That was a week ago. Today, I ran into Claro’s son on the street. Sobbing, he gave me the news that Claro has passed away suddenly in his sleep. Unexpected. Just like that, Claro was gone.

I just got home from the viewing in Claro’s house. He was lying in an open coffin, in the exact place that he had served us his famous fried chicken just over a month earlier at his home dedication. As I stood over his coffin, looking at his face, I could hear his scratchy voice: “Gracias a Dios, Gracias Ustedes.”

I am so humbled, so honored, to have had the opportunity to show the love of Jesus to Claro in the last couple months of his time on earth. After a long, difficult life living in extreme poverty, Claro spent his last couple months in comfort. I wish it could have been longer, but I believe he went out with a sense of dignity, an appreciation for God’s blessing, and the ability to leave behind a safe, warm home to his son.

Peace Claro. See you again soon. I’ll be looking forward to feasting together at the Lord’s table – and having another round of that fried chicken.

A Day in the Life...

2009-03-08T17:37:00.005-04:00

We started the day off heading to a meeting with our new landlord in the village of Magdalena. As I walked the streets with my family we noticed our neighbor (named Magdeleno – yes, named after the town) in the street with his grandson, trying to saw a tree stump in half. (typical everyday sights, blocking traffic!) They were using one of those long old-school saws with handles on both sides, where 2 men push & pull from each end… Magdeleno, who is probably 70 years old or so, was working this saw with incredible strength and agility, but after a couple minutes was clearly exhausted. So I jumped in. The first 90 seconds I was strong as an ox, although the dull saw wasn't doing much. 10 minutes into it I was pretending that I hadn’t completely lost my breath and that my back and shoulders felt wonderful. About 20 minutes later we were sweating bullets but had sawed the stump in half. Victory! Just a typical morning in Guatemala…

Then a short meeting with the landlord, sorting through a list of items…

Off to a key ceremony for a home we had built for the Marroquin family. What an emotional time. Such a privilege to be a part of this home building ministry that God put in the heart of the Journey church community in Jacksonville, FL. So much more than building homes… God is capturing hearts and stirring up this community. We hung out, laughed, shared the gospel, played guitar, sung songs, prayed together, and finally gave this family the keys to their new home. To finish it off, we enjoyed some delicious homemade tamales cooked by Maria Luisa. A beautiful time…

Next we met with our friend Maximo, a crippled man who lost use of his legs 25 years ago following the war. He sits in a wheelchair and carves images into small pieces of wood. We had struck a deal a couple weeks earlier on some of his artwork to sell in the teamhouse. Continuing to define our arrangement, what should have taken 5 minutes ended up taking another 45. (typical Guatemalan style.) Our prayer is that our visitors will buy his items, and in doing so help him sustain a small business…

Then to the next jobsite, which is for a 65 year old man named Claro. We hung out with Claro and the construction team for about an hour, mostly shooting the breeze and goofing around. We did manage to get a small business meeting in, as the construction guys gave me a little “petition” for a pay-raise. God help me use wisdom… are they trying to squeeze me for little more, or are they honestly sharing with me that they should be making a little more? I would truly hate for them to be underpaid. Will be praying on that one...

As we’re leaving the jobsite, we’re approached by a woman asking us to help her son. Brian is 10 years old and has problems in his kidneys, some kind of Hepatitis. He seemed to be in pain. His mom explained the ongoing problem and how they cannot afford to keep taking him to the doctor. We told her we would be praying for him, and considering how we can help. Our friend Mario Mendez, who is a pastor in Magdelena and has lived there his entire life, warned us that these are difficult decisions. He said the people will lie about these things for money, and once you do it the first time, the flood gates will open. Oh God… give us wisdom. I will not adopt a “policy” that confines you and squashes out our ability to let the Holy Spirit lead us. At the same time, we cannot be viewed as the Santa Claus of the village that gives every time we’re approached. I pray for your wisdom Lord. How can we decide who to help without your guidance?

From there, it’s off to visit our friends the Ixcajok’s. 2 hours can slip away in no time hanging out with friends. Luterio attempted to show me he knew a couple songs on the guitar. That was awesome. In tune or not, I loved listening to him sing praise to God while everyone else joked and visited. We played ball, wrestled with the kids, enjoyed lots of conversation – some serious, some light-hearted. These are the relationships we have been praying would form. Thank you Jesus…

Lastly, we’re dropping Amy back off at home, and saw Cesar, Lilian and their daughter Stefani walking along the street. This is a family we built a home for a couple months ago. It was great to catch up with them. A great sense of warmth fills the heart when you receive a hug and the words “we miss you” from a local family. We miss them too, as we haven’t seen them in a couple weeks…

At various points in the day, I felt like time stood still. One of these examples that I remember is while hanging out at Claro’s house, I noticed my son Jake sitting up on a hill with Jorge, one of the construction workers. They were pitching rocks down the hill, and chatting. It looked like a genuine conversation, and Jake was getting along fine with his Spanish. My heart thanked God in that moment for calling us here. I also thanked him for our children – the way they adjust and mold to fit whatever environment God puts them in.

Another time this happened was at the Marroquin family key ceremony. After all of our singing sharing, and celebrating, Maria Luisa asked if she could share something. With tears flowing, she told us how she could have never imagined receiving such a blessing in her whole life, and that the only thing she feels in her heart now is a desire to serve others. Wow… could her response to God’s blessings be any more biblical? Praise God…

At 6:00 it was time to head home – back to San Lucas. As we prepare to relocate this week to the village of Magdalena, we praise God and look forward to living there. It will be great to not have to “drive in” and “drive out.” This is our home. This is where God has called us to live out our faith and embrace community.

There are challenges and struggles ahead, this much I know. But today was a good day.

Transition

2009-03-01T23:56:00.004-05:00

For us, one word seems to be congruent with our following of Jesus: transition.

Probably the case with everyone, just in different forms. If it’s not physical relocation, it may be with relationships, trials, spiritual growth, etc. It’s certainly been those for us too.

But it’s also been a lot of physical relocation-style transition.

6 months ago we moved to Guatemala, into the “pueblo” of San Lucas. We know that God placed us in this town with purpose. Friendships were made that were critical in His plan to get us where we are now. Deep relationships were formed that we trust will continue.

We thank God for our initial 6-month transition. We arrived to find that our neighbors (who we love) spoke perfect English, a true blessing when you change cultures the way we did. We lived in a townhome with a washer/dryer and a hot water heater. More tastes of home…

This next transition is yet another step in the direction of immersion in the culture. We long to live amongst the people God called us here to help, in the villages we spend all of our time. The whole deepStream “thing” is that life is ministry – that our ministry flows from our everyday. That God’s timing is not always our own. That ministry is not something we create, or set out to “do.” That we live, and minister, all in the same breath.

So… in order to be true to that belief, we are relocating into the village that we believe God moved us here to work in… live in.

If you’re able to pray for us, here are a couple things to add to whatever else God puts in your heart.

- for God’s protection over our family, and the kids
- for kerrie’s patience and strength to endure a more drastic adjustment
- spanish! without good spanish, we will struggle living in this town, as there are no english speakers
- for the villagers to receive us well

We’ll be making the move over the next 2-3 weeks. Thank you for keeping us in your prayers.

lessons learned in poverty

2009-02-04T13:14:00.002-05:00

The word dependence brings up all kinds of baggage in my mind. There are all kinds of dependence - alcohol, drugs, physical, emotional. No one wants to depend on anyone else. Especially in American culture, we all long for independence, right?

Dependence is supposed to be a beautiful thing. Not only is the church supposed to depend on one another, but God longs for us to depend on him. In fact, when we stop depending on him, the bible teaches that we are in trouble. When we think we don’t need him, we have fallen for the biggest lie on earth.

Myself, along with a group of men who recently visited Guatemala, were recently taught a lesson regarding dependence. It’s a similar lesson that can be taught virtually anywhere in the world where there is poverty. It’s lessons like these that bring to life all of the scripture where Jesus says, “blessed are the poor.”

As we visited a poor indigenous family, some of the guys realized they had no food. One of us had asked the boys (ages 6 and 4) what they had eaten that day. “Powder milk”, they said. Turned out, powdered milk had been all they had eaten in several days.

It was an automatic response to run to the market and buy this family some food. No big deal for any of these guys. About $50 would stock this family with a month or so of food. We ran to the market, came back, and put all of the food in their home.

If not for what happened next, we probably would have all left feeling good about ourselves - glad to have been used to help this family on this day.

The husband/father of the house, Luterio, asked us if he could pray with us. The next 5 or 10 minutes was the most beautifully articulated, from the heart, gut-wrenching conversation with God that I have ever heard.

In tears, (shouting/crying/singing/sobbing), this man thanked God for his provision for his family. Among other things, he said in his wonderful and pure harmony of joyful crying and screaming, “Jesus only you can provide for my family when I cannot… You have heard our cries Oh Lord… You brought people who I don’t even know… from the United States… to deliver your gift of provision… Oh God only you have the power to do this… You have heard our cries… You have heard our cries… THANK YOU GOD… THANK YOU GOD… THANK YOU JESUS… THANK YOU JESUS!!!”

When we finished praying, there was a thick moment of silence as we all took in what we had just experienced. What had seemed like a no-brainer, simple act of kindness on our part, we realized, was a life changing moment for this family.

A moment that reinforced their belief in who God is and what he is capable of. A moment that reinforced their faith.

And it was a moment that strengthened their dependency on God.

In Proverbs 30, the writer basically says to God: “Please only give me enough to get by. Don’t give me riches, and don’t give me poverty. Too little may lead me to steal, but too much will lead me to think I don’t need you.”

A fair translation of that proverb might be: “God, keep me dependent on you so I don’t ever believe the lie that I can last a single day without you.”

I think I speak for all of the men who were there that day when I say that Luterio taught us something special about dependence. He was dependent on God for the simple provision of his family – for basic food. I got the clear impression that Luterio had recently relinquished control to God and said “I give up. I can’t do it. Please God, save my family.” That would certainly explain his emotions we all experienced on that day.

Since then I have been forced to ask myself a challenging question. To what level of dependency do I need God? Am I getting by just fine without him?

Orphan Crisis

2008-12-16T00:14:00.005-05:00

We are wonderfully tired. Tonight my wife and I lay on the couch of a local orphanage, giddy with fatigue. But tonight we are reminded of our desire to be exhausted from serving the helpless. And does it get any more helpless than this? Click here to watch the new video.

What's sad is the fact that there are thousands more just like these precious boys. We believe one of the reasons we are here in Guatemala is to help rescue more children who have been abused or abandoned. We have been connected with a loving family who for the last 5 years has trekked down the long and corrupt road of red-tape required before being able to receive abandoned/abused children in their orphanage. During that time, they have lost some support as well as some steam.

For the next 3 weeks, we are running The Great Commission Children's Home while the original founders visit the US, trying to raise additional support. For more information, you can check out our website at www.deepstreamguatemala.com or the website for the home www.hogardeninos.net.

There is an orphan crisis in Guatemala, and we are praying that through the body of Christ, together we can make an impact.

Be Done: Party Like Jesus

2008-12-15T22:58:00.000-05:00

By Beth Harmon

For many years now, we've given our kids Christmas presents galore and been baffled that they weren't getting the "Christmas isn't about Santa" thing. I kept saying "it's about Jesus' birthday". As if we are supposed to just think about his birthday during our Christmas tree stress, shopping insanity, and endless partying. Just keep his little birthday in your mind as you continue to do all the things you normally do, chanting to yourself "this isn't really what it's about". It hit me the other day...if it is about the birthday of Christ, what gifts could we bring to him?? What kind of party does he want?? And do we really have to say "look kid, it's Jesus or Santa"? Should Santa actually get to play a part?

The BIGGER lie we've been telling our kids about Santa:
The big lie we've been telling our kids isn't that Santa is real when he's not. The bigger lie about Santa is that he's someone we're all supposed to be waiting for. The truth is, Christmas IS about Santa. It is! I mean come on. Did we really think we were going to get away with taking Santa out of Christmas? There's just a major, but simple flaw in our story. We've reversed it. Listen to it.....

The true story of Santa Claus begins with Nicholas, who was born during the third century in the village of Patara. At the time the area was Greek and is now on the southern coast of Turkey. His wealthy parents, who raised him to be a devout Christian, died in an epidemic while Nicholas was still young. Obeying Jesus' words to "sell what you own and give the money to the poor," Nicholas used his whole inheritance to assist the needy, the sick, and the suffering. He dedicated his life to serving God and was made Bishop of Myra while still a young man. Bishop Nicholas became known throughout the land for his generosity to the those in need, his love for children, and his concern for sailors and ships.

St. Nicholas was imitating Christ as he gave to the needy, the sick, the poor, the suffering. And we've simply imitated the wrong person in the story. We've become the poor waiting for Santa, which is fine, except for the very small problem that we are RICH. And we're giving to our rich family and friends. What if we told our kids the truth about this? "Kids, someone got the story jumbled up years ago and we've been doing it backwards ever since! The part we are supposed to play in this come-to-life story is SANTA....not the poor children."

We are the santas. So does Jesus have anything to say about our Christmas festivities? Read this verse....

"He said also to the man who had invited him, "When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers* or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid."

Jesus was teaching us how to love. Why? So we can be nice and do kind things for suffering people? Yes. But is that it? No. The whole purpose in helping the poor and the suffering is the gospel. We want to live out the gospel. We want to bring redemption in every way shape and form. We bring it with our words, we bring it with our actions. We say, this is what Jesus did for me, now I do it for you so you will see Him. Your house is run down and broken? Let us fix it. That's what Jesus did for me. I was run down and broken. He fixed me. He redeems. That's what He does. We are His followers and so we make our lives about giving people pictures of redemption.

So, what if we applied that verse to our Christmas parties? I wonder if St. Nick would look down and say......FINALLY!!!! And by the way, I realize that this is not new idea to everyone...but it's one that I suddenly feel passionate about spreading to others. Because we can do some really cool things alone as believers, but oh, what could we do together? What if we changed roles? What if believers all over the world decided to forgo the American style Christmas madness this year? Ok, I know it's December and like me, you've already drawn a name, and made your promises, and purchases. But don't lose hope. Just start telling the story - to your kids, your friends, your family, to all....the reverse Christmas story. Us as Santa. Let's reverse this thing. Let's start dreaming. And begin where we can. Who knows what could happen by next year if the truth about Santa got out?

Jesus is all about the Christmas parties and gift-giving......He's just got a little piece of input on the guestlist.....

So, let's be done with this self-serving kind of partying and join some other believers in a REAL party....a bigger party.....an eternal one. Here's an example:

www.adventconspiracy.org (check out the video)

Prez Obama

2008-11-05T16:28:00.001-05:00

I voted for John McCain. I was more of a Huckabee guy during the primaries, but still had a liking for McCain. For me, social issues like abortion tip the scale when I am casting my vote. There’s never a perfect candidate, but I try to look for Christlike characteristics when choosing a leader (a near impossibility when talking about politicians!). Huckabee was bold about his faith in Christ, to the point where it hurt him politically, and I liked that.

Protecting the right to life, dealing with world poverty and disease, defending the biblical definition of marriage, discrimination, and immigration are a few of the social issues that mean more to me than the ones of the more political or economical variety. In some of these areas, I think democrats tend to carry a more Christlike view. In other areas it tends to be republicans.

That being said, today I am a typically-conservative-Jesus-loving-missionary-living-in-a-third-world-country who is celebrating a special moment in American history. (I have heard all of the "Obama is evil" warnings and I am aware of his shady associations. I also know that if I ran for president, the associations of my past would raise a few questions to say the least. Some of Obama’s history alarms me too, but he has renounced these relationships and I think we should give him the benefit of the doubt.)

More importantly, this election symbolizes incredible progress for a country that not long ago treated many individuals no better than a stray dog because their skin was black. When I was in high school the KKK still marched down Main Street in my hometown. African Americans have overcome what I believe to be the most cruel, ridiculous, and vicious discrimination in American history.

Political views aside, this election is a monumental defining point for America. Whether we voted for Barack Obama or not, and even if we deeply disagree with his political views, we must celebrate the significance of this day. For the black population, and all Americans for that matter, today is a day to claim victory over some of the darkest days in the closet of American history.

In many ways, I think politics are overrated. Government is critically important for sure, but it gets too much attention and can distract us from remembering who is actually in control. Despite having a long list of disagreements with the president-elect, I will embrace Barack Obama as my president. I’ll pray for him and the leadership of the country, and I will no doubt celebrate what I believe his being elected represents.

Sophi Grace

2008-11-02T23:31:00.004-05:00

Not long ago we had some friends over. As we were visiting the question came up as to whether or not we are finished having children. We answered generally that we did not plan on having any more, but we would be open to adopting or foster parenting an abandoned/abused child if the God brought the opportunity our way.

The next day we received a call. A child had been abandoned at birth, and we were given the opportunity to legally adopt her on the spot.

We froze.

How could this be? What would we do? What is the process? What are the legal ramifications? Is the child sick? Does she have HIV? Would the mother come back to find her? What should we do?

Kerrie and I took some time to talk, pray, and make a few phone calls.

Then we remembered our conversation with our friends just one day earlier. We remembered the times we had talked about this before. We had committed to God and to each other that we would make ourselves available for this very opportunity.

We were convicted. What were we even talking about? Praying about? What situations could we possibly be “weighing” that outweigh the reality that a newborn baby has been abandoned. A response of “no thanks” would shuffle her through a corrupt adoption process that would likely find her thrust into a despicable child labor system by age 10. Truth be told, her reality could be much worse than that…

In that moment, the holy spirit came upon us, helping us to look outside ourselves. We picked up our phone and made the call. “We’d love to have her.”

We were asked for personal information, documents, etc, so they could prepare the paperwork. They told us to stand by, make preparations, and we would be able to pick her up the next morning.

That night we prepared, physically and mentally, for the arrival of a new daughter and sister. We bought diapers, formula, and various baby needs. We prayed together and began getting excited. As a family we decided on the name Sophia Graciana. We would call her Sophi Grace.

The next morning we received a call telling us to be patient - that it was probably going to be later in the day. We waited. That evening, we finally got the call.

We were shocked to hear that the mother had come back. She had come back early that morning, claiming to want her child and was apologetic for her actions. A social worker spent the day with her and ultimately decided that she was a fit mother, genuinely apologetic, and had a unique reason for her behavior. The decision had been made that she could keep her daughter.

We were stunned. We didn’t know how to react. The kids, especially Madi, were crushed. Madi had been thanking God for “answering her prayers” in providing this opportunity. Our emotions were all over the place. Its very hard to describe how we felt.

We were sad. We cried. We had questions for God. We couldn’t figure why he would put us through this.

Maybe it was a test of our faith. Maybe it was preparation for a future opportunity. We finally settled on the conclusion that its not our place to figure out God's reasoning.

The more pressing issue is that of the children. Like Sophiana, so many are left abandoned. Many are literally thrown out in the street immediately following birth. Others are abused, beaten, raped, and exploited.

I pray that Sophi Grace is in warm, loving hands today. But even more than that, I pray for the hundreds of thousands of others who are in alone or in danger.

While the problem at times seems too large to even comprehend, we believe the only way we can make a difference is one child at a time.

Juan Daniel, and so many more...

2008-09-13T22:04:00.001-04:00

Imagine this… You get pregnant as a young teenager. There is no way you can tell your family, especially your father. You are poor and live in a third world country, making the option of abortion impossible. So you live with a friend for nine months, deliver the baby, and the day he is born you toss him into a ditch on the side of the road. He is left to die. Problem solved.

Unimaginable? Sadly, this is commonplace in Guatemala. It is to Guatemalans what abortion is to North Americans. A solution to the inconveniences that come with having a child.

But in the case of Juan Daniel ("Danny", pictured with me here), God had other plans. A local couple was on a walk and discovered the 2-day old boy, barely alive, and took him to the fire station. The fire station got him to the hospital, and soon he was placed in the court system. About 3 weeks later, a judge would give him a name and place him in an orphanage.

Unlike most abandoned Guatemalan children, Danny was placed in a small, family-like orphanage with loving Christian parents. Today, I hold this miracle child in my arms, and take great joy in making him chuckle as I tickle the chub under his chin.

Today, we have the blessing of overseeing a small orphanage, and providing the owner’s family a much needed day off. Each baby (all under 5 months) has its own story of abandonment, similar to that of Danny. Unloved by their moms and dads, but perfectly loved by their Father in heaven.

As we consider our own struggles today – work, busy schedules, the market crash, health, finances, etc – let us not forget those whose concerns are far greater. Our brothers, sisters, and children around the world are literally dying on the side of the road.

I thank God today for the opportunity to serve him, and these children.

the need to redefine safety

2008-09-07T23:18:00.005-04:00

Lately we have been reminded that we’re not in Kansas anymore.

Here are a few things we have been told, and learned for ourselves, during our first month in Guatemala:

1. Don’t get lost. There are several places you should never go, some of which are very close to the main areas and easy to accidentally end up in.

2. Lock your car doors and travel in groups. Car jackings are every day occurrences here. Men with guns force you from your car, stealing it as well as all your belongings. This happens in broad daylight and on main public roads.

3. Tint your windows. There is an assumption that North Americans have money, so the chances of being robbed go up dramatically once the thief sees you are not Guatemalan.

4. When you get robbed, do not resist. Typically when people are injured or killed in a robbery it is because they fought back.

5. Do not trust the police. They are corrupt, involved in criminal activities, and in cahoots with the criminals and banking institutions.

6. Do not trust the banks. Don’t withdraw or deposit large amounts of money.

7. Do not us the same ATMs frequently or develop any predictable patterns.

8. Don’t wear jewelry, watches, Ipods, expensive shoes, or high-end clothing. All of these items help the criminals make assumptions.

9. You can do everything right, and still get nabbed.

10. Don't live in fear. (Gee, thanks!)

In addition, here are some recent happenings familiar to us:

~Our neighbor was recently car-jacked on the major road leading into San Cristobal, a road we travel on each day. She was forced from the car by 4 men with guns.

~A teacher at CAG (where the kids go to school) was recently robbed by a man with a gun. She was walking directly in front of the school last Saturday when it happened. She was alone and carrying a purse.

~Last weekend, one of the security guards protecting our neighborhood was intoxicated, entered a residence and threatened the mother and children with his gun. The owner put out notices to all of us warning us not to trust the guards.

~UPDATE: 3 days ago (now 9/25) the father of some classmates of our kid's (one 3rd grader and one middle schooler) was kidnapped while shopping at Cemaco (a hardware store we shop at regularly). We don't know a lot of details regarding the reason, and can only speculate that in some way he appeared to be (financially) worth kidnapping. The missionary community has been praying for his return and PRAISE GOD he was returned today. We don't know any other details at this time, except that his family is leaving the country today for a 2 week break.

Unfortunately these stories continue. My intention is not to scare/worry anyone regarding our safety (or discourage anyone from visiting us!). Nor did I write this to falsely pat ourselves on the back for “living dangerously” or “suffering for Jesus.” I am only trying to be honest about the reality we are in, and ultimately bring glory to God as he uses us to accomplish his work in Guatemala.

This is where we are. This is where God wants us to be. This is our reality. Sometimes we get scared, and other times we are brave. Sometimes we are paranoid, and other times we are too carefree. But most importantly, we are learning to seek HIM in balancing and discerning these feelings. There are times I consider whether or not living here is worth the risk. Anytime I (or we, as a family) seek Jesus on this topic we come away with an overwhelming YES...it is worth the risk, without question, absolutely.

A couple nights ago I was tucking Brooke in, and she told me that sometimes she wants to move back to the states. When I asked why, she said, “because we never had to worry about being safe.” In the quiet of her room, her comment echoed loudly and I heard it over and over again. Because we never had to worry about being safe.

Interestingly, I am realizing how naive I am to think we are any safer in north Florida than we are here. To believe so would be to presume that my worldly-wise decision making can trump God's control. I know this perspective annoys the common sense, practical thinker. But it's frustrating to me when Christians are quick to make (or point out) the "smart choice", or the safe decision - while unintentionally discouraging others who have been called by God to throw some caution to the wind. My bible speaks of few who chose this safe, practical route, yet is littered with radicals who took jesus literally, and even followed him to the death. The "decision making process" of such heroes would today be considered mentally unstable and require treatment and meds.

To be clear, I am not saying that, statistically, living in the 10/40 window is no more dangerous than living in Harvey, North Dakota. What I am declaring is that when following Jesus, it is necessary to reevaluate the concept of safety. Because if everything the bible says is true, a reckless, unstable life devoted to bringing the hope of jesus to the ends of the earth, and even a premature death, is actually much "safer" than a long, healthy, prosperous life of spiritual idleness.

...keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness...we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies... 2 Thess 3:6-15

...I know you're works, that you are neither hot or cold... because you are lukewarm, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say I am rich, I have prospered, I need nothing - not realizing you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked... Rev 3:15-22

So, what is safety? I have drafted my own personal definition.

Safety: To realize my life on earth is but a vapor; to be willing to give it fully (not partially) to the cause of bringing the hope & love of jesus to all, even at the "risk" of all things worldly including comfort, wealth, success, personal safety, and reputation; to pursue bringing the kingdom of heaven to earth with every thing I have, in anticipation of hearing the words "well done faithful servant." And In doing this, securing a place in eternity with my heavenly father, creator, lord, and king.

For me, this is the safest bet.

Regarding Brooke's comments in bed the other night, I assured her that I understood her feelings, and at times feel exactly the same way. But it has lead to some great conversation within our family about why we're here. Not just why we're here in Guatemala, but here in this life.

We concluded, collectively, that we have never felt closer to God than we do now, and that is a beautiful place to be.

If not certain this is exactly where God called us, I’d probably have my family on the next plane. But he has been clear in showing me that he is ahead of us, and our job is to keep following. He has our back. He is God, and he deserves our willingness to do anything for his glory!

Thank you to all of our partners – prayer partners, financial partners, friends and family. Always know that we pray for all of you and love you very much. If I could ask for a specific prayer for me, pray that I can remain steady with the passion that I have on this day. I realize how weak and sinful I am, and fear that my perspective today can slip and weaken tomorrow. Please God, give me steadfastness.

https://www.osac.gov/Reports/report.cfm?contentID=80860

PATIENCE... OR THE LACK THEREOF

2008-08-23T18:28:00.004-04:00

Written By Brenda Young

In the age of having every worldly need instantly at our fingertips, we become quickly frustrated and angered when it is not. Our selfishness quickly takes over and turns our focus from what He wants for us to what we want in our timing.

Lately, Rich and I are finding that God is working in our hearts more than ever. We have been greatly humbled in our lack of patience and dependence in Him. Even though we feel as though we were totally in tune with Him and know that he has everything worked out, we still continue to struggle with letting Him control all aspects of our life. We become so impatient that anger settles in. The stresses take over and begin to control us. Why can’t we ‘just be’? Why is it so easy to let the worldly ways seep into our souls? Why is it so hard?

Looking back now, I can see how God has been slowing testing us in different areas of our lives. He tested our boldness through being vocal about our beliefs through several job interviews. He has tested our trust by making us comfortable walking away into the unknown of a new job in a new location with less money. He is testing our humbleness by having us move in with my parents (Eight is Enough!).

But the hardest test to this point has been one of patience. It seems as though we are playing the waiting game. The process has been slow with the transition into the new job, the house still has not sold and we are having difficulties feeling settled. We know in our hearts that God will take care of it, in His own timing. But we continue to ask, “God why is this taking so long?“ We try to remember to wait and all will be fine in due time, but in the next breathe we begin complaining and taking it into our own hands to fix what has already been decided.

So our daily (sometimes hourly) prayer has become:

God please help me to be patient.
Help me to be patient with my children, especially as they struggle the same way I do. Help me to be patient with everyone I come in contact with throughout the day so I can show them your love.
Help me to be patient with myself if I am not accomplishing all I think I should.
Help me to wait on you.
And thank you ahead of time for forgiving me every time I become angered, frustrated, and forget that you are in control.

And as I say this prayer, yet again, I feel God’s love all over me. I am comforted and can just sit back and let Him take control. I know with everything within me that He knows what is best and that we will walk out of these times much better people better able to accomplish all he has in store for us. And I can better enjoy this life he has given me.

Guatemala Update - Aug 17th, 2008

2008-08-18T02:13:00.012-04:00

Over a cup of coffee, Kerrie and I are sitting here wondering how so much could happen in less than a week. The majority of the last 5 days is a blur in my mind. It has been jam-packed chaos, running from one place to the next. Getting somewhat settled into our home, trying to learn our way around the area, running back and forth to the markets and stores, setting up utilities, school orientations, language school registration, back to the airport to pick up George (our dog), and so much more. Not that big of a deal…unless you can’t read street signs, and don’t speak the same language as the condominium guards, store clerks, market vendors, internet company workers, gas company workers, cell phone salesman, airport guards, propane guy, and the neighbors! In all fairness, we could have used our friends for help, but we decided to not ask for hand-holding, to venture out and learn the hard way - by experiences, trial, and error.

Mixed in with the chaotic fog of the last 5 days, there have been some wonderful moments where time has seemed to stand still. God has spoken to us here. We have felt his provision, and his protective covering over us. And we have been blessed to receive some specific, sweet expressions of his love. I want to share just a couple of them with you.

When we visited Guatemala in April, we visited 4 potential places to live. We chose the one that seemed the least excessive, with the least amount of luxuries. It is the one closest the poor areas that we felt we’d most likely spend our time. It was the fourth place we looked at, and when we drove up the entering street, and walked in the door, it just felt right.

Having not exercised in over a week, I got up this morning and headed out for a run. I decided to explore the mountains behind our complex, and see if I could find any trails. I followed the road that passes our townhome and winds down the mountain. I turned the corner of a path and was shocked to see a paved basketball court, beautifully staged in the side of the mountain. I couldn’t believe it. I stood there staring at this scene that just didn’t seem to fit. Based on the location and surrounding environment, I would have never expected to see basketball courts at this specific location!

Behind the courts, there were a couple of openings that appeared to be hiking trails, so I threw on my mp3 player and starting running. The trails wound down, up and around the mountain. I had to stop occasionally - partly to catch my breath - but mostly to look down the mountain and enjoy the incredible views. I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. As I soaked in the scenery, I realized the song “Made to Worship” was playing on my headphones. Over the next 20 minutes, I jogged the trails while worshipping our Lord of Creation with every cell in my body. I was humbled by his gift of the basketball courts and the beautiful trails, and feeling so incredibly loved by Him. I think I actually came close to a heart attack – probably a combination of being in such awe of God, completely absorbed in the moment of worship, and being excited to share the experience with Kerrie and the kids.

Needless to say, when they saw everything, they were blown away. As we hiked the trails, Kerrie prayed, and eventually broke down into tears – sharing with us how loved she felt by Jesus. She loves mountains, trees, warm days and cool nights...and she felt as if Jesus was literally handing her some of her favorite things, and enjoying her appreciation of them.

In another time and place, a basketball court and some hiking trails might seem rather uneventful to me. But today, this experience that we shared with God was huge. This week has had a few difficult moments, and today brought a smile to our faces and lifted our spirits. The fact that we had no idea (and never would have expected) this area to have such simple “amenities” made it that much sweeter…

One other thing we wanted to share. To put this in proper perspective, you need to know that we have been praying specifically for God to connect us with a Christian family or two in our neighborhood. The deepStream way of life has been so special to us, sharing life and seeking God with neighbors - and we have been asking God to please bless us with some neighbors to share life with.

Today, Jake ran inside to tell me some boys were playing soccer outside and he asked if he could go play. Not even thinking about it, I said “sure.” About 20 minutes later, I walked outside to make sure he and the guate boys weren't playing star wars with machetes. He was all the way down our street, playing with 2 other boys about his age. The 3 of them had made a triangle and were simply kicking back and forth.

I walked down and met the dad, Winston. He did not speak any English, but we did our best to talk for about 10-15 minutes. I have no idea what he said to me, and he had no clue what I was saying to him. It was comical. Finally, he pointed to me (as if to say “hold on”) and ran inside. He came back out with his wife and he was pointing at her saying “English, English.” She introduced herself…in very understandable English!

We talked for about 10 minutes. Her name is Maria Fernandez, and she shared about her family and church…very sweet and soft spoken. She asked where we were from, and why in the world we moved here from Florida. After sharing briefly our reason for moving here, she was filled with excitement. She told me how much her country needs the love of Jesus. She said she is in a ladies group that meets twice a week, and they are looking for ways to help the local poor. She asked if she could help us in our ministry, and said her group has collected clothes and food to help but they didn’t know where to start. I was trying to hide tear-filled eyes at this point…

Just a little while ago, we were finishing up dinner and saw Maria drive by. A few seconds passed, and she reversed back and stopped in front of our house. We met her at the door, and invited her inside. I introduced her to Kerrie, and she greeted her with a kiss. After some introductions, she explained… “I stopped because as I was praying today I heard the holy spirit’s voice speak to me. He said to come tell you that I am yours to help you. He said ‘the new Americans on the street are my people, and I want you to serve them the same way you serve me.’ So I am here to tell you that I am here to help you and serve you, just as I serve my Jesus.”

In hindsight, Kerrie and I must have looked hilarious as we stood there frozen in disbelief. I looked at Kerrie and saw her eyes tearing up. Maria’s eyes were doing the same. God knows it doesn’t take much for me to get choked up anymore…

After 5 or 10 minutes, our new friend in Christ hugged us and went on her way. We were left, again, in awe of God.

As a family, we sat and thanked God for our neighbors, for our home and the beautiful creation surrounding us. The perfect timing of his kindness touched us today. Today, we felt blessed for obeying His call to Guatemala. Today, we had specific prayers answered. Today, we are closer to our Lord Jesus than we were yesterday. God, let that encourage us to run harder after you!

We all start school tomorrow - Kerrie and the kids at CAG, and me at language school. As we prepare our hearts and minds for school, please pray with us that we may seek God new each day. That the awe we have already experienced would give us confidence in our calling here, and that our hearts would be open to allowing God to take and use us however he wants to.

Thank you for your prayers, encouragement, and support!

Brock

Reflecting

2008-08-07T12:02:00.010-04:00

To our friends and family:

We have been so busy preparing to leave, there have been few opportunities to stop and reflect. But Kerrie and I have had a few of those opportunities recently, and we just wanted to let all of you know how much you mean to us.

There is a selfish, worldly fiber in all of us that occasionally doubts God, challenges him, or doesn't like some of the things he calls us to do. We have all been there before, and following him to Guatemala has had a share of those moments. Whether its leaving good friends and family, entering into so much uncertainty, dealing with pride issues (this list goes on), Kerrie and I have had some wonderful wrestling matches with God in the last couple months. But we stand here today more devoted him, more in love with him, and clinging to him like never before.

Strangely enough, its in these places of uncertainty and confusion that we can find the most comfort in the person of Jesus. When we are struggling in this way, and we finally let go, giving in to a life of faith...that's when we wake up and find ourselves wrapped up so tightly in his loving and protective arms. Then his extraordinary love for us, his promise to never let go of us, takes on a whole new meaning.

We will miss you all so much. We have not taken for granted our relationships with all of you. In the last few years, memories of laughs, tears, prayers, worship, meals, and joy fill our hearts and minds as we depart for a new chapter of life. We will hold tight to those memories...

Thankfully, God reminds us frequently not to get caught up in our temporary status here on earth, no matter how great it might be. This may sound crazy, but turning 33 soon, both Kerrie and I feel like we are running out of time to make much of our king Jesus in the short life he gives us.

Lets run hard after him together - and come before him exhausted having done all we possibly could to bring his kingdom to earth!

Love you all -

Brock & Kerrie

Praying for Dependence

2008-07-27T15:36:00.010-04:00

In the last 60 days I have sold practically everything I own. House, cars, furniture, tv's, dishes, linens, and toys. As we prepare to move as missionaries to Guatemala, one simple blessing I was not anticipating was my "dependence relationship" with God to burst through the roof. While my amount of gray hair has probably doubled in the last 2 months, so has my dependence, love, and longing for Jesus.

A few weeks ago at deepStream we studied Proverbs 30:8-9. This has got to be the most radical, profound prayer I have ever heard. Sadly, I have read this passage many times before only to pass through one ear and out the other. At first glance, it doesn't seem so radical.

But if you meditate on this prayer, or even better, if you're willing to pray it for yourself, there's a good chance it will conflict with much you've been taught. It opposes many of the very things that motivate us, and it cuts to the heart of western culture.

Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
give me neither poverty nor riches,
but give me only my daily bread.
Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you

and say, 'Who is the LORD ?'

Or I may become poor and steal,

and so dishonor the name of my God.

Have you ever prayed anything so bizarre, so counter-cultural? Most of us have prayed "give us this day, our daily bread..." but consider the additional meaning that God gives us in this passage above. As I read it, I hear the author saying: God, please do not make me wealthy. Don't give me too much money. I don't want to be set for life! I don't want financial security...for I may forget about you or begin living as if I don't need you!

The piercing truth of this passage is that a state of dependence on God is the most healthy way to live. The author of this proverb knows that if he is dependent on God, his faith will remain strong, and real. And if he has too much money (security), his dependence on God declines in direct proportion. With financial security, God may still be something he "believes in", but no longer something he can't live without.

In balancing out his prayer, the writer also asks not to be poor, for poverty brings temptations of its own. This is certainly the side of the prayer that most of us are comfortable with - its the prayer to not be wealthy that messes with us! We should all be challenged to measure our willingness to pray this prayer. Perhaps by considering our response, we can get a fair indicator of our true priorities.

Do I "need" you God? Do I actually "depend" on you to get by? If I did, would I be closer to you? Because I'll do anything to be closer to you. God, please do whatever you need to do to help me depend on you. Without you - without real faith and dependence on you - I am empty.

Guys Gone Radical

2008-06-10T00:36:00.004-04:00

Just a quick blog about a couple of guys I know who are undergoing similar situations and getting radical right where they are. To protect their humility (haha), I am going call them Ricky and Bobby...

Ricky and his family have been on a journey the last couple years. They left family, moving from their hometown, all the way across the country. It was a quest for independence, and also for a little “american dream chasing.” In their new oasis they would climb the ladder, soak in success, and live it up to the full.

Then came a wrecking-ball-to-their-plans by the name of Jesus. While, they already knew and loved God, he was teaching them new things, showing them the bigger picture, and breaking their hearts for the poor. Over the course of the next couple years, Jesus reminded them of his purpose for entering mankind…to save people, love people, bring hope, and bring life. They were learning about sacrifice – giving up our own gain for the sake of Christ and for the sake of others. Ricky and his family began asking God “what does this mean for us?”

They began listening, learning, and seeking. In a relatively short time, God changed their hearts. What they had relocated to do (chase the dream in pursuit of earthly gain), had been turned around completely. They learned and accepted these lessons so well that they began making life altering decisions to downgrade and cute expenses, so they would have more resources to give to the poor, and towards advancing God’s kingdom.

And ultimately, God has called them to return home with their new perspective on life. Ricky was accepted a position at a company in his home state, and believes God crafted much of this, leading up to this very decision. Here’s the kicker: the position is exactly a 50% pay cut from his current job…and they could care less!

I believe God will allow them to live more simply, love more radically, and give more generously than they ever have, despite the fact that “the world” would consider it an impossibility.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few years back, Bobby moved his family on complete faith to a quiet, far from home town. God had been telling him to simplify, slow down, and focus on “being” the church instead of just “doing” church. Their obedience proved fruitful in more ways that I can even begin to explain.

God provided a perfect occupation that allowed freedom, interaction with townspeople, and flexibility to balance family time and other relationships however he felt appropriate. After a few years, the “career juices” started flowing again. As the world promotes and convinces so many men: push a little harder…achieve a little more…

Bobby left the company he was with for a management job with a big firm. More status, more money, more security, and more responsibility. It seemed like a responsible decision at the time. Bobby did well in his new role, and even developed some great relationships. But over time, something didn’t seem right.

The holy spirit was speaking to Bobby, and his wife. Corporate burnout was beginning to take its toll, family time wasn’t as fruitful as it had been before, and there was little time to devote towards other relationships and “kingdom work.” Together, they began seeking and praying.

Eventually, God answered with clarity. As he so often does, God encouraged Bobby to take the less secure path. It’s the one that requires more faith, and has less attractive earthly benefits…but far better eternal ones. God provided him the courage to leave his higher profile job to return to his former employer, who welcomed him with open arms.

I admire these guys for pursuing Jesus with their families, with their careers, and with their daily decisions. I am thankful for their supportive wives and families. May God bless them enormously as they shout to the world with all their strength that the way of Jesus is more unusual, more irrational, more unstable, more radical…and more beautiful and rewarding than anything we can dream up on our own.

Responding to the Cross

2008-03-19T20:54:00.005-04:00

Imagine this… you are crossing a busy street and somehow never see an oncoming car. A man you’ve never seen before rushes into the street, gently pushes you out of harms way, and takes the impact of the car in your place. By the time the ambulance comes, they find him taking his last breath in your arms. A few days later, a family member of the man comes by and gives you an envelope that reads “To be opened by the one I will die saving.”

You open the letter…

You don’t know me yet, but I want you to know that I know you. I know your name, your fears, and your joys. I was put on this earth for one reason – to save you from death. If you are reading this note, it means I have accomplished what I came to do.

Knowing I did this for you, can I ask you to do something for me? Will you live differently? From a new perspective – so different that no single day of your life will ever be the same? I ask that you live for others, just as I did for you. Give yourself completely, just as I did for you. Out of your love for me, do everything you can to heal and save the world, just as I did for you.

I ask that you let my dying in your place ignite in you a life of passion, love, and selflessness. In order to be a better place, the world needs you desperately. Your hands and your feet. And you will do even greater things than this.

I love you.

After reading that note, I assume that (after being amazed at this person’s devotion to you) you would commit to live the rest of your life in honor of the one who saved you? Would it not be the least you could do, given the fact that he gave his own life so you could save yours?

When I think about the crucifixion of Jesus, what disturbs me is how much time I spend on earth oblivious to the fact that every moment of my life is intended to be used to honor and glorify him. Every day, not just occasionally... Every hour, not just a few hours a week... Every minute… Every breath... Through the death and resurrection of Jesus, we have new hope, new purpose, and a new passion for life. His sacrificial death in our place should encourage and empower us to be world changers!

To be sure, Jesus died to save us from sin. But once we receive that gift of salvation and commit to follow him, he makes clear that our new lives have just the begun. Once we have come to know Jesus, we must passionately embrace the mindset that there is much work to be done! It is our responsibility as Christians to bring the kingdom of heaven to earth! Jesus taught that we will fail at this if our faith in him is casual. In fact, he said I’d rather you have no faith at all, than a false “claimed” faith that isn’t even real.

Before Jesus died he said that in order to be called his disciples, we too must bear our own crosses. He commands us to travel against the mainstream of society and take the narrow road. To follow Jesus means to pursue the hard task of taking his truth and love to the marginalized, the poor, the unloved, the misfits, and the hopeless. When we consider the cross, are we motivated to do these things?

To see the cross accurately means to reject the comforts and luxuries of the world, recognizing that the beaten and bloodied Jesus you see could have come in the form of prestigious king, but chose not to.

To see the cross correctly is to be inspired to emulate the life of the one bearing it – dedicating our earthly lives to service, love, and sacrifice – with an understanding that the pursuit of success, comfort, wealth, security, beauty, luxury, reward, prestige, and riches are all being stored up for us in heaven in direct correlation to our rejection of them on earth.

Our family's theme for Easter this year is not only to be thankful for the cross, but to let it inspire us to live out the radical love of Jesus. I fear that too often we come before the cross in humble thanks, but basically stop at that. It’s almost as if we see the crucified Jesus and unintentionally say “glad it was you and not me.” When the truth is…Jesus is calling us to join him, and in doing so receive greater blessings than we could ever imagine.

I hope this Good Friday & Resurrection Day will inspire you to live each day wildly and radically for the one who gave his life away for you!

Madisson and the voice of Jesus

2007-12-30T12:03:00.000-05:00

Posted by: Kerrie

A few months ago our family decided to spend Christmas morning giving out wrapped presents to the homeless. We asked the kids what type of gifts they would like to buy and discussed different ideas as a family. We mostly decided on jackets, travel pillows, electronic pocket games and snacks. Madisson however wanted to something a little different. The following is her journel entry about her Christmas morning experience, she is 10yrs old.

David (a guy sitting at a bus stop)
*Before this, when we had decided to give presents to homeless people, I had said I wanted to give a backpack with a blanket, pillow, a game, and a Bible. My dad told me no, that the we really wanted to give out seperate gifts. My mom protested and told my dad to let me do it - it might be God telling it to me. Dad then agreed. She was right...

On Christmas morning, the first person we met was David. It was cold and rainy. We parked and Dad, Jake and Brooke got out of the car. Mom and I stayed in the car. Dad, Jake and Brooke took a Christmas present to him. The present held a shirt/jacket. One of the first things David said was, "Well yeah I'd like a Christmas present, I just got robbed last night. They took my backpack and everything I owned was in it." My dad was shocked, and said, "Well...we have a backpack!" David was excited and said, "You do!" Dad ran to the car and whispered, "Madi, Madi, he needs a backpack!" I reached behind and grabbed the backpack and we all got out and I gave it to David. He was very excited and said he had had one almost the same as the one I gave him. The backpack was black and gray, with the word Rebok on the front. Inside we put gum, granola bars and packs of peanuts. I also put a black and gray fleece jacket, a pillow and a pocket poker game. We talked and prayed with him and then we all hugged him. At first I didn't want to hug him. But Brooke and then Jake hugged him. It would be weird if I didn't hug him, so I hugged him and then we left. After we left we drove around looking for more homeless people. We got to see him while we drove and the first time we saw him, he had put on the black and gray fleece jacket and was holding up the first present we gave him, another jacket/shirt. The second time we drove by and saw him he had put on both jackets and was playing poker. That shows his thankfullness. Then we were driving and saw him walking to the salvation army. He had told us that on cold nights they let you sleep there. When we first saw David, he had a mustache and a beard and didn't have many layers on. He looked cold.

God talked to me...he told me to get a backpack. Then we met David and God showed me why. That was a miracle.

Safety

2007-12-14T13:28:00.000-05:00

~By Brock

“I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrection power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself.” Phil. 3:10 The Message

Webster’s defines safety as “the avoiding of risk, danger, injury, or loss.”

Ever since I shared what God is doing in the lives of our home, the most common response has been different versions of: “what about the safety of your kids?” or “how could you do that to your children?” or “I am concerned about the safety of your family.”

In almost every case, this comment has come from a position of love - genuine love and concern for our well being. I am appreciative of that, and it is a true blessing to be loved by so many people.

And because so many people have caringly emphasized their concern for our safety, I began seeking God on the issue. He has been so good to reveal so much. I continue to be amazed at how loud he speaks when we come to him with a seeking heart! This specific time of seeking has been eye opening, uplifting, frightening, empowering, and humbling all at the same time. Here are a few things I am learning.

According to God, the modern day concept of security is a complete myth. Our security and/or safety are simply not real. It does not exist. We can easily get mislead into a lifestyle that actually thinks we control our own destiny, our own financial security, and our own physical safety. But God can squash that in an instant. In many cases, until a tragedy of great magnitude comes along, we presume the best thing to do is to follow the world’s pursuit of comfort/safety/security. In doing so, we effectively choose to ignore the story Jesus tells in Luke 12:12-34. The man who considered it wise to plan out his own future gets his life taken from him that very night for doing so. Jesus basically says “how dare you.” And in James 4:13-15 Jesus reminds us again that our careful planning for our own tomorrow is a joke. Even for those of us who don’t necessarily “ignore” these passages, we tend to explain them away with savvy interpretive (justification) blab.

No Excuses
I believe a world without God loves it when we choose lives of total comfort and safety. I think the enemy cleverly tricks by using “good things” to keep us from being relentless Christians devoted to the cause of Christ. We use our children, careers, financial status, upcoming changes, attachment to family, retirement planning, the love of our home, etc, etc…all as justification to never risk anything for God. At one point in time, Christians were the most passionate, outrageous, uncivilized, tenacious advancers of the gospel. They rejected the status quo, went into the darkness, and loved others sacrificially and irrationally. They had faith that parted seas, stoned giants, danced in fire, destroyed armies, and muzzled hungry lions. And the 12 that walked with Jesus - they went on to lives of courageous and selfless love, inspired by the example of the One and Only.

Somewhere along the way, especially in our Western culture, things changed. Christians moved from the radical faith of the early church, and are now associated with words like: “prosperity”, “safe environment”, “programs”, “great sermons”, “family first”, “great facilities”, “awesome music”, and “seeker sensitive.” Just today I heard my local Christian radio station use the catch phrase: “safe for the entire family.” Now, I understand the other side of this point just fine. But I’d prefer my family experience Jesus, and the advancement of his name, for what it really is – and it’s anything but safe.

Jesus on Safety
Jesus never preached safety. He never called us to pursue comfort or security in this life. In fact, his call for us could not have been more dramatically the opposite. He never softened his message to suggest waiting “until the kid’s are grown” or “until you’re more financially stable.” His teaching was so intentionally the opposite of that. Literally – the opposite! A man came up to Jesus once and said “I will follow you wherever you go.” Jesus did not respond “Oh, that is great! Go find a good job, start a perfect family, build a great house in a neighborhood with great schools, get ‘plugged in’ at your local church, try not to miss any Sundays, and you’re all set!” Instead, he warned the man about the hugeness of his statement by letting him know that he, the Son of God, did not even have a place to call home. In other words, “if you mean what you say, your life is not going to be comfortable and secure.”

Aside from God himself, no one loves my children more than I do. No one loves my wife more than I do. I am confident that no one treasures their precious hearts and lives more than me. Consequently, no one is more responsible than I am to show them how to live, and who to live for. I pray that I will always have the courage to lead them to Jesus. I do not want to point them to a primarily selfish lifestyle that puts our own needs and wants above the needs of others. What a shame if, by example, I lead them into a faith with prerequisites of convenience and comfort. By leading them in the pursuit of earthly stability, I cheat them from experiencing the real living God who himself rejected that lifestyle. If God chooses to give us “stability” that is fine. But I am starting to see that I should not pursue it as if it’s mine to go get.

What Are We Doing?
Paul said if he was wrong about what he believed, he should be pitied most because he lived such a tough life. But Paul was right about what he believed! Based on that, we all must know that Paul does not regret the life he lived. (That’s why he said “if I am wrong.”) The point is this: if we really believe what we say we do...if we believe Jesus calls us to join him into a life of selflessness, faith, non-conformity, uncertainty…and if we believe this life will be over in the blink of an eye… than what are we doing? Where does our safety and comfort fit into all that?

Jesus said, “Whoever wants to save his own life will lose it, but whoever will lose their life for my sake will find it.” Many religious spinners have said that what Jesus really meant is that in order to be “saved” one must turn their life over to Christ. But the Greek word for “save” in this text has nothing to do with salvation. The word is “sozo” which means “to keep safe and sound; to rescue from danger.” With that in mind, reread his statement. It’s no wonder that statement immediately followed Jesus warning that in order to follow him we must take up our own crosses.

Right now, God is telling me to sacrifice our own abundance for the sake of others in the name of Christ. In doing so, it is necessary to remove my family from the myth of comfort and security. Jesus said his followers are sent like sheep among wolves. After telling his friends about his coming death, he warned them (paraphrase) “if you choose to follow me, you will also take up your cross… and if you live to save your own life, you will lose it… but if you lose your life for me, you will find it.”

I want to follow Jesus with a bold faith that gives him all the glory. That lifts his name up and reduces mine. I have poured years of my life into achieving a high profile, high income career. It was sexy, fun, exciting, challenging, and full of pleasures. But it was self serving. It fueled my own sin. And it fed my desire for attention, accolades, and success. Maybe others can balance that lifestyle beautifully – with a sincere desire to glorify Christ – but I was unable to. In hindsight, I wish we would have lived on a fourth of my salary and gave the rest to the poor. That would have been radical - and would have glorified Christ - even within the glittery business of professional sports.

True Joy
More important is my mission as a husband and father to not make the mistake of, by default, leading my family into a stale, civilized version of Christianity. According to the scriptures, I am better off leading them into a life of great risk, uncertainty, and even danger. If I can help it, my home will not be another story of “growing up in a Christian home” as opposed to a home completely sold out to the true heart of God! Instead of my children growing up to say “I grew up in a Christian home” I want them to be able to say “I grew up in a home of radical faith and we followed Jesus everywhere!” If my kid’s turn away from the Lord, they must know that they are turning from a life of faith, risk and adventure. Unfortunately when many turn away from their “Christian upbringing,” I believe it is because they are turning from a life that is boring, mundane, and ordinary. In my mind, this new step in our journey is not one of misery or despair. Much the opposite…it is a step towards true joy, fulfillment, and reward!

JB
As I have been seeking God regarding this topic of safety and security, he has revealed so many people in scripture to learn from. But the one that hits me the hardest is the example of John the Baptist. Jesus described him by saying “no greater man has ever been born from a woman.” My translation is that JB is as good as it gets, aside from Jesus himself. It’s an interesting thought because he was the epitome of bizarre. Even though his message was compelling, most were turned off because of his eccentric persona. Jesus defended him “what did you expect? a reed swaying in the wind? a man in fine clothes?”

Following a courageous life of devotion to Christ, he found himself in prison. Classic JB style, he had boldly called out the king who was having an affair with his wife’s brother. John was not only put behind bars, but he was to be executed by beheading. He sent his disciples to find Jesus – to make sure the Messiah new of his situation. Consider the message they brought back from Jesus:

"Go back and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me."

The reality of the message that Jesus sent back to John is far too radical for a watered down, comfortable, safe version of Christianity to accept. Jesus was saying “I am not coming through for you John. I am not going to save your life. You faithfully lived out your calling! And oh how you will be blessed if you do not lose faith just because I don’t save you now.”

How Can I Not
I am reminded by this story that our lives are short, and our safety is a myth. I have heard it said that life on earth compared to eternity is one grain of sand on all the earth’s beaches. But this short life – this one grain of sand – is so incredibly important. It's responsibility is great, and its choices determine everything. Our only cause is to make great the name of Jesus Christ. That’s it, that is all that matters. So as I consider the question “how can you do that to your children”, I guess my most honest answer is to ask back a question: “how can I not.”

After reading the red letters (Jesus’ words) in the gospels, I am going back and considering the Webster’s definition of safety: the avoidance of risk, danger, injury, or loss. Seeking God in this area has shown me that it is true - the one who laid down his life for us had much to say to his followers about risk, danger, injury and loss.

“Anticipate it.”

"Dear friends, don't be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. 13 Instead, be very glad—because these trials will make you partners with Christ in his suffering, and afterward you will have the wonderful joy of sharing his glory when it is displayed to all the world." I Pet. 4:12-13

Some great resources on this topic include:
The Bible, Don’t Waste Your Life (John Piper), The Barbarian Way (Erwin McManus), The Red Letters (Tom Davis), Plastic Jesus (Eric Sandras).

Inspired by the Red Letters

2007-11-14T21:23:00.000-05:00

~By Brock

This is a recent journal entry of mine. I decided to post it because I wanted to share with anyone who is interested some awesome stuff that God has been doing. This is not unique to just our family, but is going on within the deepStream community as a whole. Each family's story is different - but here is a glimpse into ours.

Journal Entry - November 7, 2007

Not long ago Kerrie and I were on our knees committing to Jesus through tears that we are willing to follow him anywhere. We cried out to God, asking him to begin breaking our hearts for whatever breaks his heart. To help us step outside of ourselves and allow us to desire what he desires. This was a very stupid thing we did! No… it has actually been the most exhilarating thing we have done in a very long time!

We are finding that journeying with Jesus can be terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. For me, the closer I get to God, the more I realize that he is nothing like I imagined. The more I fall in love with this person Jesus, the more I become amazed at who He is and who he asks me to be. Ever since he saved me and my family several years ago (an undeserved outpouring of his grace) he continues to reveal more of himself. Sometimes I look back and see his fingerprints in my life and it all seems to make sense. But there are just as many times when I hear his voice and what he’s saying is absolute craziness. I am comforted by the fact that so many people in scripture experienced the same thing! “This is difficult teaching” is what they would say… It is this unpredictability of Jesus that makes it so exciting to follow Him.

Immediately following our reckless prayers and commitment, God started breaking our hearts for the poor. He has been showing us how critical it is to care for the poor if we are to call ourselves followers of Jesus. It is an issue that Jesus talked about often, and it is the lifestyle he lived. I find it amazing that after so many years of “growing up in church” the concept seems brand new to me. A friend of mine who lives in another country, devoting his life to helping the poorest of the poor, challenged me to go through the new testament reading only the “red letters” (Jesus’ words). The very words of Jesus regarding the physically poor, the rich, materialism, false security, the needy, the hungry, sacrifice, etc…have been ringing in my ears so loud I cannot hear much of anything else. It has been a burden placed in my heart that I cannot get away from. An awakening in my soul that, until recently, left me frozen.

Jesus refers to the poor as himself. He says when we care for them…we care for him. In fact, Matthew 25 speaks very clearly about how important it is for the hearts of Christians to be broken for the poor. Even if you have read this a hundred times, read it again - and let it sink in.

31"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'

44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

46"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

In our home, we’ve been studying and praying on this passage for a while now. All 3 kids have been genuinely impacted (and stunned) by Jesus’ words. Jake thinks of Willie (a homeless man we became friends with) and Sumon (a child we sponsor in Bangladesh). But even at 6 years old, it is obvious that he understands the deeper meaning of the passage. He wishes more people like Willie were near our house so they could stay with us. Madi’s heart is so pure and good, she cries every time we discuss it. She can’t believe so many people don’t have a place to live and don’t have food. And Brooke is frustrated…that we haven’t relocated to a poorer community already. She is convinced that it’s not fair to live where we live, and have all that we have, if Jesus meant what he said in Matthew 25. A couple days ago in the car, she broke the peaceful car-ride silence with “dad, if we don’t go somewhere where we can be closer to poor people, we are all going to be goats.”

I believe the spirit of Jesus who occupies her heart and mind gave her that thought. This must be what Jesus meant when he said “anyone who does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” Children don’t see the difficulties associated with moving, or the logical reasons not to “downgrade” or “do anything crazy.” Unlike us adults, their first thoughts aren’t full of concern for what others will think. Perhaps with more years of religious education, Brooke’s reaction would be to justify how we can more conveniently address this issue of ministering to the poor. Maybe she would have a more rational interpretation of Matthew 25 - one that is a little easier to swallow. When our hearts and minds get insulated from Jesus over time by a world of false security, I think we become less willing to take Jesus’ words literally.

I believe God is leading our family to into some new territory. I cannot articulate all the reasons. But at some point you just know. He has spoken to us countless times, countless ways. It is no coincidence that this all started after Kerrie and I prayed boldly asking God to disturb us. It was strange how it all happened. But we knew we were missing something big. We felt like he desired our faith to be stretched. He was revealing to us in a loud but mysterious way that we needed to get uncomfortable. Following Jesus can at times be very uncomfortable.

In Revelation 3, Jesus sends a letter to the church of Laodicea. This church is marked by its wealth and comfort, much like that of the modern day American church. In fact, as I read the letter, I am convinced that much of the American christian church is the modern day church of Laodicea. In the letter, Jesus says “you say ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and I do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, blind, and naked.” Jesus also says to this wealthy church: “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”

Today, we can read this and argue over what it means. I am choosing to take it literally. Jesus is saying that lukewarm christians may not be christians after all. If our hearts and lives never follow what we say we believe, the letter to this church is a warning that we will be very disappointed to find that the kingdom of heaven does not welcome us, and we will be spit from the mouth of God. To me, this scripture is one of the most frightening things Jesus ever said, particularly how it correlates to what I see around me in the American christian community, and in my own life. It helps me appreciate what Paul meant when he said we are to “work out our salvation with fear and trembling.”

In a similar train of thought, God has been opening my eyes to the biblical concept of suffering. I have never been more challenged to sacrifice for Christ. I am guilty of reading the many pages of scripture regarding my responsibility as a believer to glorify God through sacrifice and suffering…without really considering what that means for me. In some way I am frustrated that I never heard this in church - despite the fact that Jesus, Paul, the disciples, etc spoke of it often, and clearly lived it out in their own lives. But it is not anyone’s fault other than my own. I choose not to meditate on the scripture that is harder to accept. I lean towards the feel good stuff, and press back against the scary stuff. Sacrifice, suffering, selflessness, giving of everything… this is the more difficult teaching.

Paul said at one time that if Christ didn't rise from the dead (or in other words, if none of this stuff is true) we christians should be pitied more than all men. I recently realized that the reason he said that is because of the difficult calling christians have to endure suffering. To take up our crosses. To do the tough stuff, take on the challenges, even when it seems nuts. Paul is saying that, from a worldly viewpoint, his life has been extremely rough. But since he lived without forgetting that his life was only a vapor - a blink of an eye - he knew the sacrifice was "nothing at all" from the view of eternity. And with that in mind, he was full of pure joy.

As I fall more in love with Jesus and my heart longs to know him more, it seems like he is steadily removing clumps of mud from my eyes. (Although I seem to have an unlimited supply of new mud clumps that appear.) But this time, the cleansing of the mud is helping me to see that in my own life, abundance…means obstacle. Luxury…equals hindrance. Wealth…leads to lukewarm. And my reluctance to notice the hungry…is ultimately a reluctance to notice Jesus.

Apparently “taking up my cross and following Jesus” didn’t mean proclaiming my faith by wearing a cross shaped necklace charm and slapping a fish decal on my bumper. Much more than that, I am called to represent an extension of the cross by sacrificing my own life for Christ. How can it make sense that suffering would glorify God? I guess in the same way a bloody cross did.

~If they persecuted me, they will persecute you.
~Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.
~To live is Christ, and to die is gain.
~Paul lived “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything.”
~Momentary affliction prepares us for eternal glory.
~We are burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves, but on Christ who raises the dead.
~Whatever you did for the least of these you did for me.
~It is easier for camel to walk through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.
~The poor, humble, will have great reward in heaven. Those praised in this world will not be highly regarded in the next.
~Those exalted in this life, will be humbled in the next. Those who are humbled here on earth will be exalted in heaven.
~The lust of money and possessions is the root of a thousand evils, mostly running away from God.
~It is nearly impossible for the rich man to get to heaven.
~Of the materialistic Babylon: Give her as much torture and grief as the glory and luxury she gave herself.

The biblical passages on suffering and sacrifice go on…and on…and on. To be clear however, the idea is not to pointlessly throw myself into unfortunate circumstances that lead to suffering. To flippantly invoke suffering on myself may appear spiritual, but would actually be quite selfish.

My suffering for Christ can only be born of my desire to glorify God, not myself. According to the scriptures, truly following Jesus will inevitably lead to a life of sacrifice and suffering. In genuine instances of taking up our own crosses for our Lord Jesus, the motivating heart is one of love for people, love for God, and a willingness to deny ourselves in the process. Jesus said “whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.” And yet through all of this we will receive great joy! How crazy is that?!

This leads to where we are on our journey. In the last couple of months, God has helped me realize my own abundance, comfort, wealth, etc. And I think he is beginning to teach me what sacrifice means. (Not that we have yet to sacrifice in the slightest, but we are committing to at least begin that process.) We thank him for helping us see that by making less of us we can make more of him. And it is nothing short of answered prayer that he is beginning to break our hearts for the poor community. Those who are not only spiritually poor, but who have literal daily needs of hunger, shelter, and clothing. I am excited to be closer to them, to have daily interaction and opportunities. While I anticipate struggles and frustrations, I am eager to give up my extras in order to help those who lack necessities.

When I read Jesus’ words “whatever you did for the least of these, you did for me,” I envision myself before the throne being asked what I did for the least of these. And lately I have been floored by the close proximity between my neighborhood and a world of poverty that I didn’t know existed. St. Augustine, Jax Beach, downtown Jax, the Northside. There are literally thousands of the “least of these” all around me.

At this season of my life, I do not hear God calling me to the mission fields of Africa or China. Maybe someday he will do that – and it would be an awesome opportunity. But for now he is leading us to the poorer communities right around us.

God is not whispering to us that its time to depart from our comfortable bubble. He is screaming it loud. While Kerrie and I know that he led us to our current neighborhood (and specifically to this home) he reminds us not to get too comfortable. That all of this is temporary, there is much to be done, and everything we “see” will be gone in the blink of an eye. We are thankful that he continues to press us forward – towards another step in our journey of following him. While there are times I agonize over the idea of leaving (neighbors, home, schools, etc), I remain so excited to follow where Jesus leads! I am honored to be stretched, humbled to be used, and thankful that God prefers we do not stay still for long.

Jesus - I pray that you will never stop stretching me. Thank you for doing it again! Continue to strengthen my love for you and for people. Widen my view of you. Help me not limit you in any way. Help me not to doubt what you can do through me and my family. Please break my heart for the poor. Give me a soft heart that thinks of others ahead of myself, especially those that are difficult to love. Help me think and live eternally. Strip me from my distractions so I can grow closer to you. Help me to provide an uncommon example of selflessness for my kid’s to emulate. Lord, if I want them to avoid becoming like the Laodecian church, I must in my own life detest every single hint of it. Help me extinguish any aspect of my life that reflects unnecessary abundance. Give me strength to remain on fire for you. Help me sense any sign of lukewarmness well before it gets to me. Dear Lord, help me live my life with one goal alone: that when I finally meet you face-to-face, I will be able to say “I gave you everything.”

God Enough!

2007-10-01T08:41:00.000-04:00

Posted by Theresa <><

So no one has blogged lately, maybe it's because of time or simply because no has had anything to say?

Well, these last two weeks of life have made me thankful that God is enough.

If you are the type of person who needs answers, and good ones at that - sorry, I'm just not sure there out there. Life, Earth, Science, History, Theology, etc... all created by God, taken away - Is God enough?

Have you "experienced" God enough in your short or long life for Him to be enough? I can honestly say YES! My experiences with Him far out weigh the knowledge I've acquired about Him. If I had to choose between the two I'd take having my experiences verse the knowledge.

My challenge: If you know God but haven't experienced Him enough for Him to "be" ENOUGH - ask Him for that.

I'm not saying we should put down our Bibles or our studies, I'm just saying if all of that were gone we should be prepared to honor God without it.

Remeinds me of The Firey Furnace - We should decide in advance whom we'll serve no matter what!

I feel unworthy and humble to be serving a God as mighty as mine.

new to blogging!

2007-09-16T00:28:00.000-04:00

Posted by Kerrie:

This is going to be fun!!

our new deepstream blog!

2007-09-16T00:05:00.000-04:00

Posted by Brock:

This is our new deepStream blog!! A few of us in the deepstream community will occasionaly share random thoughts through this site. Hopefully we'll be more frequent than I have been in the past...